Doobie Doings, Mama Musings

Yo Mama’s Merrie Melodies

5 Comments 10 May 2012

I always sing The Doobies obscure songs and change out all the words. I like to think of it as Musical Enrichment meets Name that Tune. Mike probably thinks of it as Wife loses Marbles. Tonight, I decided to sing Madan “Hello Ma Baby” complete with a ragtime dance routine at bedtime. He was so taken with my talent that I decided to show him my inspiration: Michigan J. Frog. One thing led to another and all of a sudden we were watching a jazz singing owlet croon some Cab Calloway.

They don’t make Looney Tunes like they used to. Good thing they still make looney mamas.

Doobie Doings, Mama Musings, Tween Remedies

Always Something There to Remind Me

0 Comments 09 May 2012

One day The Doobies will hate me. It’ll stem from some punishment I levied like confiscating their time machine, grounding their hovercraft or putting their robot dog to sleep. (It’s the future, remember?) It won’t last long, but it will sting. That’s why, whenever The Doobies utter something so sweet and wonderfully innocent, I plan to bottle it up in my blog. That way, I can uncork it and savor it when everything else goes sour.

I am in the honeymoon stage with my kids right now. They’re cute, beautifully naive and so silly. They sleep with stuffed animals, believe it’s important to be kind to ants and love sharks and Pugs. They’re self-sufficient, yet still want me. In a few years, that’ll change. In fact, The Doobies might flat out reject me. I hope not, but it’s hard to hang onto your superhero status forever.

Doobie Doings, Mama Musings

Yo Swiper, NO SWIPING!

1 Comment 08 May 2012

Kaila's Halloween costume. Now, if I could just get Madan to dress up as a set of car keys...

Kids do the craziest–no strike that–stupidest things. And we have to continue to love them. That’s our job as parents. Ridiculous unconditionalness.

Yesterday, The Doobies and I went to visit Grandma on the West side. Mike met us there after work so we had two cars. We had a great time and decided to make our way home earlier than Mike so bedtimes weren’t missed. Plus, I needed to see The Voice without any little voices interrupting as I ate two too many scoops of Ruggles peanut butter chocolate ice cream awesomeness. As we drove home, the skies opened up, displaying an incredible lightening show and dousing the SUV with buckets of rain. After 40 minutes, we were almost home.

My cell phone rang. It was Mike.

“Did you take my keys?”

“Why would I take your keys?”

“Right, I know. But, they’re not here.”

“I would not take your keys. I can only drive one car at a time. Besides, they were on the table.”

“Right, I know. They’re not there.”

I knew I didn’t take his keys. But, I remembered Kaila was nearby coloring.

“Kaila, did you see Dad’s keys when you were coloring?”

“Oh, yeah!”

“Do you know where they are?”

“Yeah! They’re in my backpack.”

I fought to regain control of the car.

“WHAT?!?!?”

“I put them in my backpack.”

“I don’t believe it. Show me.”

A set of shiny keys jingled forward from the back seat. I bit my tongue. I drew blood. I saw red.

“Why on EARTH would you put Dad’s keys in your backpack? How the HECK is he going to drive HOME?” I so wanted to say HELL–or worse. But, yoga breathing took over.

“Um. I dunno.”

“SONOFAFRICKINMICKINBICKIN. WE ARE TURNING AROUND!” I yelled into the cell phone before throwing it at an imaginary head.

Madan started moaning, doing his best “WHY ME?!?!” Nancy Kerrigan impression. I exited the highway, re-entered the highway and proceeded to drive 40 minutes in the opposite direction during a torrential downpour. The storm was a blessing because it was loud. If we didn’t have it, the kids might have picked up a few new juicy curse words to try out on the bus.

We finally got to Grandmas…again…handed over the keys and drove back home…again. But first, I had to gas up. And, Madan decided that would be the right time to take a pit stop. Men. What is it with your poor timing?

He ran into the gas station. Minutes elapsed. He ran out of the gas station.

“Mom! I found FOUR lucky pennies.”

“No. You. Didn’t. On the BATHROOM FLOOR?!?!?”

“Yeah, why? Ohhhh.” Madan stared at his hand and immediately realized the error of his ways. But, oddly enough, he still didn’t drop the pennies.

I pulled Purell out of my purse and doused my son. Three times. Then, I repeated my public restroom commandments emphasizing this one: Thou shall not touch anything lying on a public restroom floor EVER or thou will be forced to watch the Silkwood decontamination shower scene on an endless loop.

“Okay, but can we go home now?” Madan asked.

“Yes, and once we get there we will take turns beating your sister,” I deadpanned.

“I get to go first!” Madan joked.

“Mama, I am so so so so so so so so so so so SORRY!” Kaila’s tiny voice wailed.

I accepted the littlest Doobie’s heartfelt apology and quickly let her off the hook–which is where we’ll hang our damn keys from now on.

Mama Musings, Recipes

Chicken Artichoke & Goat Cheese Salad

3 Comments 25 April 2012

An awesome friend and I enjoyed lunch at Nordstrom’s Cafe Bistro last week. We ordered this salad. I liked it so much that I decided to recreate it at home. I cheated and bought cooked chicken since I knew my night was going to be consumed with soccer and work.

Yum. Yum. Extra Yum.

Chicken Artichoke & Goat Cheese Salad

Doobie Doings, Mama Musings

The State of the Kid

0 Comments 25 April 2012

Kaila filled out an old survey from Highlights. After reading her answers, I’ve decided to vote for her in the upcoming presidential election. To see the world through the eyes of a child makes you realize how overcomplicated life gets when you grow up. It also makes me think that politicians don’t “behave like children.” If they did, we might be better off.

If you could trade places with a character in a book, which character would you choose? Why? ”I would pick Little Red Riding Hood because she’s brave.”

What advice would you give kids on how to be friends with kids who are different from them? “It doesn’t matter if you’re different. Just go up to them and say, Hi my name is ____, what’s yours?”

Which quality is most important in a President? “Honesty.”

If you were President, what is the first thing you would do? “I would do the right thing and would say no guns, smoking or stealing.”

If all the people in the world would listen to you for one day, what would you say to them? “I would say to not sell guns or smoke and no stealing.”

Time to make some yard signs. “Doobie for POTUS!” Bill Maher would be our first endorsement.